Does it Ever go as Planned?

So a little about me?

I am a 20 year old who had a dream a leaving her tiny town and seeing a new world. I moved to Salt Lake City to attend the University of Utah. Oh boy was I in for a shock of what I thought a city was and what it turned out to be. I realized very fast how much I was going to miss my hometown. I never really knew how it felt to be lonely until I was walking around this big place and not recognizing a single face.  I joined Business Scholars and this year am applying to enter the Accounting Program. School is a lot of work and stress, but even mores stressful for someone who suffers from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I hate saying I NEED things a certain way, but I 'love' having things a certain way. I 'love' to organize. I 'love' to clean. I 'love' to be the best in everything. However no one can be the best at everything.

Where am I from?

Utah. For all my life Utah has been my home. I grew up in the TINIEST little town of Paradise, UT. A name that fits its description to the T. Oh how I love my little valley. I still yearn everyday to sit on my porch as the sun drops below the Wasatch Mountains. I loved living in a place where everyone knows everyone. I love the roots that run through my town. I could go on about the good reasons I love my little valley and how I would love to stay and build onto my life in Utah. However, I have one reason why I would not continue to make it my home.

I am an ex-mormon.

I am baptized. I studied and went to church a large portion of my teen years, but I could never fully love the religion the way I saw others love it. The more I went to church as I went into high school, the more I saw that I was not myself when with my mormon ward members. I disagreed with some of the teachings. I hated seeing the judgement that followed for those who were not mormon or ex-mormons. Don't get me wrong, I love many parts of the Mormon religion. I love how much they care about family and helping others. I loved feeling a part of something, but how can I be someone I'm not?

 I don't want to start bashing on mormons because so much of that already exists. I'm here to share my life, which includes being an ex-mormon in a very mormon state and if that comes with posts about the differences I have developed with the mormon church then that will be written as well. I want to share about the aspects of my life and how it affects me with the good and the bad. I'm writing this blog to share and I'm excited to do it!